Some Relief

This is what I did this past weekend-

only... I didn't actually use my fingers.

I have this special gift...

I can block out unwanted "noise" without having to literally plug my ears.

When do I use this special gift?

I use it when

*I anticipate major whining and complaining from my stepdaughter.

*my mother-in-law wants to talk about the stepkids and/or their monster of a mother.

*whenever I anticipate my husband coming up with another wonderful idea to spend time together as a family (including his stepkids). Mind you I'm the one who has to spend the most time with them in the summer. Sometimes I NEED a break.

Yesterday went pretty well.

I was finally able to vent about this past weekend to my mom and sisters.

I tried to get out of the house last Saturday night, but my husband demanded that I stay and play a board game with him, his kids, and his parents.

He said he wanted to cut the "tension." He must have

been referring to the tiny blowout we had in front of his parents.

I didn't care if it did happen in front of them.

He wanted to embarass me about being so controlling by telling his nine year old daughter to stop sitting in my toddler twins' chairs. I couldn't let him do that.

I don't back down anymore.

I don't sit and take crap from anyone anymore.

I know this sounds harsh, but he sometimes treats me like his mother.

I clean up after him.

I take care of HIS kids (my stepkids).

I do all the laundry.

I do all the cooking.

I do all the cleaning.

I did everything for the twins' bday party.

I'm going to do everything for HIS daughter's birthday party.

I allowed him to take away some of my rights as a wife.

I can't do that anymore.

I love him, but I also have learned to love myself and respect myself.

It's also my duty to protect my children.

I told him that if the twins are about to get hurt or may get hurt from the actions of HIS children that I would definitely do something about it.

My stepson is moderately mentally retarded.

He is almost 13, but he has the mental capacity of a 5 year old.

I don't leave him with the twins- ever.

He lacks common sense, and in the past has done a few things that could've really hurt them when they were just infants.

My stepdaughter is defiant.

My husband has told me that she doesn't do what I ask her to do because I'm "always telling her what to do."

Well... I finally asked him why she doesn't do what he asks her to do when he's always so nice to her.

He didn't have an answer for me.

I know I'm rambling.

I guess I just needed to get this out.

I do somehow feel better.

This is my journey.

It's honest.

It's ugly.

It's funny.

It's even sometimes inspired.

Today's Food and Activities

stretch

upper body with weights

1 cup Kashi, 1/2 cup 1% milk

7 almonds

1 multigrain muffin, 2 slices ham, tomatoes, 1 TBS BB spread

7 almonds

grilled chicken and veggies

1 apple

Have a happy and healthy day!