Anxiety

It's Friday, and today we are officially filing for our bankrupcy.

It's a bittersweet experience for us.

Another thing that's on my mind is my husband's kids are coming over this weekend.

I hope the weekend goes quickly.

Today's Plan

1 corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

7 almonds

1 corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

7 almonds

caesar salad

1/2 banana

run/walk program for 30 minutes, abs 20 minutes, 30 Day Shred

I'll see you all here again on Monday.

Have a happy and healthy weekend!

Older, and Wiser!

Older, and wiser!

Today I am officially 34 years old.

How did I get here so fast?

I mean, really, it wasn't that fast.

Wasn't I just 23 yesterday?
I don't like the number "34."

Crazy.

Life passes by so quickly.

This is one of the many reasons why I started this weight loss journey in the first place.

I don't want life to just pass me by.

I want to create memories with my husband.

I want to remember every little thing my twins do as they grow and develop into individuals.

I want to live my life and not watch it go by.

That's what I used to do about 7 weeks ago.

Sure, I'd love to just sit on the couch while eating a whole box of Fiddle Faddle and gobbling up rocky road ice cream as I watch movies all day.

Sure, I'd love to get to bed late and sleep in all day.

I'm sure we'd all love to do that.

That wouldn't be living though, would it?

I grew up in not-so-good circumstances.

From age 9-15 my family and I lived in what you would call "the ghetto."

It was bad.

Every night I used to hear gunshots. My mom would go to work by bus, and she would walk to the bus stop even though she could hear the gunshots. I used to beg her to stay home from work. I didn't play outside or let my little sisters play outside in fear of the people who lived around us. There was a lot of gang crime and drug dealing going on in the streets. One time our neighbors just below us was raided by the police for drugs.

We didn't have many choices back then.
My family and I finally got out of that neighborhood when my very compassionate and kind uncle bought a house in a nice neighborhood and let us live there.

I am so very blessed in my life right now.

I have a husband who drives me crazy at times, but we both still love each other and are still in love with each other.

I have healthy, beautiful, loving, and sweet twins. They are truly my miracles. I didn't know if I was ever going to be a mother in this lifetime, but my Heavenly Father gave us twins!

I have a mom and sisters who love and support me.

I have dear friends who care about me.

I am so blessed.

I'm eating whatever I want today.
It is my birthday, after all.
I am however planning on doing my run/walk program for 30 minutes.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Should I Do it?

Here is my new Steve Madden purse.
I just really liked how roomy it was.
I can totally fit all of the "diaper bag" stuff in it if I needed to.
It's also nice to bring it to the movies to bring my own snacks in it! Haha!
More than anything, I'm just so happy that I made my first goal.
That 10% was the hardest so far!

I have many friends who are runners.
I am not a runner; however, I have been thinking about it.
There are less than 9 months to train to run a 5K that I've looked into.
I think it would be great if I did it.
This may sound pretty wimpy to you, but I've never been a good runner and I'm still heavy.
Running and actually finishing this 5Kwould be HUGE for me.

I also believe that training for it will help me achieve my weight loss goals.

I've looked into some easy beginner's running programs.

Do you have any suggestions?

Should I do it?

Today's Plan

1 large corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 slice turkey bacon

7 almonds

1 large corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 slice turkey bacon

7 almonds

3 egg whites omelet with tomatoes, onions, and 1 square cheddar cheese

1 oat and grain toast with 1 TBS Brommel & Brown spread

water, water, water

1/2 banana
run/walk 1 hour, Jillian's 30 Day Shred

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Getting There

Yesterday I woke up early and did a 30 minute run/walk program.

2 minutes run, 3 minutes walk

repeat, repeat, repeat

Every time I had to run, I thought, "Why am I doing this?."

I then would remind myself that it's going to be so great to fit into my skinnier clothes.

I would remind myself how much more confident I am.

I would remind myself how many years (possibly) I'm adding to my life with my husband and twins.

I would remind myself... it's worth it!

There are definitely days now that I don't feel like working out.
Maybe because I'm still sick.
Maybe because it's hard sometimes.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I woke up to falling snow.

It was pretty, but it made it just a little bit harder to go over to our clubhouse and work out.

I did it anyway.

This morning I weighed myself.

I finally made my 10% goal!

I actually passed my goal. I lost 3 pounds since last Tuesday's weigh-in. I now weigh 145.5 pounds.

Here is my newest pic!

It has been 7 weeks since I started this journey. I want to thank my readers and followers for your loving and thoughtful reminders and comments on why it is worth it and why I shouldn't give up.

Thank you.

Obviously, my weight loss journey is not yet over. My next goal is to lose the next 10 pounds.

How I plan to do it:

*Work out 5-6 days a week using weights, running, and varying workouts.

*Make sure I eat enough.

*Drink plenty of water.

*Indulge in a special dinner and dessert one night a week, so I don't completely binge one day.

*Blog, blog, and blog for accountability.

Today's Plan

1 large corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 slice turkey bacon

7 almonds

1 large corn tortilla, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 slice turkey bacon

7 almonds

1 1/4 cup ravioli with lowfat sauce, peas
1/2 banana

Body by Jake Cardio on Exercise TV with 5 pound weight

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

The Hike

At the Trailhead

The start of the hike was flat for about 3 minutes, and then the climbing began.

halfway there to the summit

Exhausted and out of breath, I made it to the top!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help my enthusiasm!

Did I ever mention that I LOVE to hike?

The only problem is that where I live it's either too hot or too cold to do it unless you go up to the mountains in the summer. I don't exactly have the luxury to hike either, since my twins aren't old enough to hike yet. My husband loves the outdoors. He'd go hiking every day if he could. Hmmm... sounds like a great afternoon date! I'll keep that in mind.

The hike up the mountain just behind my house was awesome! It's about 600 feet to the summit and very steep and rocky in some areas. When you get to the top, there's only about 2-3 feet wide of  walking width. It was scary up there, but it was so much fun!
There were so many places during the hike where I had to use my hands to get over rocks.
There were also many places where there was just pure gravel (slippery to climb uphill on).
I felt such a rush and an accomplishment when I finally came down the mountain.
I'm also very grateful that no one (especially me- accident prone here) was hurt. We all had a great time.
I'd like to go hiking again soon. It felt great to be outdoors even though there was a storm coming.

Saturday

2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

1/2 banana, 1/2 cup pineapple slices, 1/2 cup grapes

2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

14 almonds
turkey burger with tomatoes, mustard, red onions and whole wheat bun, steamed carrots and broccoli
2 hour hike up a mountain!

Sunday

2 corn tortillas, 1 turkey bacon slice, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

7almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1 turkey bacon slice, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

7 almonds

6 oz. grilled salmon, greenbeans

1/2 cup nonfat peach sherbet
Turbo Jam Cardio for 45 minutes, abs for 10 minutes, free weights on arms, back, and shoulders for 10 min.

Today's Plan

2 corn tortillas, 1 slice turkey bacon, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

7almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1 slice turkey bacon, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

7 almonds

3 oz. stirfried pork sirloin with 1/4 cup white rice
1/2 banana
run/walk program for 1 hr., Jillian's Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism

I weigh myself tomorrow, and I really hope I've made it to my 10%!


I still have my cold, but Twin Boy is doing better. Twin Girl still sick.

I hope you're having a super duper happy and healthy day!

Last Night

Last night I thought I was coming down with the flu. I was cold, stuffy, and tired.

I also had to wait to eat dinner later than I'm used to, so that didn't help.

Once I had dinner, I felt a whole lot better.

I told myself (as I thought I was in my death bed) that I would take the day off from working out today.

I woke up this morning feeling much better.

I still have a runny nose.

The twins are both sick now. That's just lovely.

I think I feel better because I went to bed at 9:30 p.m.

I never do that. I think I just needed a good night's sleep. I didn't wake up until about 7:30 this morning. That's "late" for me. LOL.

Today's Plan

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup cheese, 1 oz. lean roast beef

7 almonds

1/2 a banana

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup cheese, 1 oz. lean roast beef

7 almonds

1/2 a banana

1/2 cup ravioli, lowfat sauce, peas

upper body with weights, 40 push ups, 10 minutes with abs

I'm not doing some intense cardio today, since I'm still

feeling sick. I have a 2 hour hike up a montain by my house tomorrow morning.

I'll post pics on Monday and tell you how it went!

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement!

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

I'll see you again on Monday.

Getting Close to 10%

Today we are at my mom's house.

I worked out with Jillian Michaels's Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism DVD.

I can literally feel the fat burning off as I do every jump with her. I have a love/hate relationship with Jillian.

Today's Menu

2 servings of granola mix breakfast by Emerald

1 WW cookie

2 servings of Chicken and Rice soup by Campbell's Select Soups

1 serving of chocolate 100 calorie cupcakes

6 oz. stirfry chicken with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and snowpeas

1/2 cup white rice

I'm still sick, and now Twin Girl is too. Our noses are constantly running.

It felt great to eat on plan yesterday. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday seemed easy to me.

I still don't know which purse I'm going to reward myself when I lose my first 10%. I might need to figure it out this coming Tuesday because that's my next weigh-in and I just need to lose 1.5 pounds.

I really hope I can do it by this coming Tuesday. It would be a great birthday gift for myself if I lose my 10%. I looked at my pic on this blog, and I do notice a difference. I'm not as flabby. My arms have gotten more tone, and my belly isn't quite as big. Maybe I'll post a new pic when I lose the 10%.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

A Beautiful Day, An Ugly Cold

Thank you you for your kind comments on yesterday's post.

You keep me inspired and motivated!

I woke up feeling worse today.

Lately, whenever we get colds at our house, it lingers for a long time.

I don't know why that is. Maybe it's the lack of sleep we all seem to have.

It sucks when you're doing everything right (eating healthy, exercising) and then you get sick.

That has been an obstacle for me whenever I start to work out and eat right.

Of course, you need at least 7 hours of uninterupted sleep. Who gets that?

I mean, who gets that in my situation?

I hope to start feeling better soon.

I still plan on working out today. I know. I'm crazy. I should take the day off and rest.

I took the day off yesterday though. I got a new workout DVD: The Firm: Sculpt. It says you could burn 500+ calories in the hour. I've always liked the The Firm DVD's.

Well, I have to make this short. Twin Boy is screaming to get out of his high chair.

Today's Plan

2 corn tortillas, 1oz. roast beef, 1/6 cup cheese

7 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1oz. roast beef, 1/6 cup cheese

7 almonds

1/2 cup cheese ravioli, peas, lowfat sauce

1 banana

The Firm: Sculpt (1 hr.)

30 minute walk with double stroller

It's been beautiful outside, and the sun is shining!

Did I mention that my birthday was coming up?
It's on February 25th.   34.   I don't know if I like that. I'm looking forward to some yummy bday cake, though!

Have a happy and healthy day!

The Sickies

6 hours of sleep... seems like enough... but not for me.

I woke up to Twin Girl's crying at 5 a.m. this morning. I went into the nursery and put her in bed with me. She finally fell asleep fifteen minutes later.

Three hours later, I weighed myself. Needles to say I was afraid. I love/hate that scale.

My heart pounded. I prayed hard. I stepped onto my "little friend."

It read, "148.5 pounds."

I lost 1.5 pounds! I was shocked. I was happy. I was grateful!

I had so many food obstacles last week.

Tuesday's large vermicelli salad, Thursday's large grilled steak salad with guacamole, and Saturday's "Vday dinner" with hubby were sure to get me.

This week, I don't foresee too many food obstacles. I'm so thankful.

I haven't been in the 140's for about six years now, I think.

To those of you reading this who don't or never have had any weight issues, this success may be small. It's a big deal to me.

I feel stronger.

I feel healthier.

I'm not done losing weight or getting healthier, but I'm finally on the right path.

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

Yesterday, I ate clean and healthy, did Jillian's Boost Metabolism and walked with the double stroller for 1 hour. I really needed more sleep last night, so I'll try to get to bed earlier tonight.

I'm taking the day off my exercise routine today, and I'm also indulging in tonight's dinner. Did I mention I've got the sickies? I think I have some kind of sinus infection. Not fun.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Great Weekend

Saturday
I did a run/walk program for one hour. I lifted weights and did abs for 30 minutes.
I haven't gone on the treadmill in almost 2 years. When I got to our workout room in our clubhouse, I saw a lot of older people there. Some looked familiar, and the others didn't. I felt very small. I felt very small all of a sudden because I knew that the ones that were familiar to me have this exercise "thing" down. They have developed these habits for some time. They get up early and exercise every day. They say that an activity doesn't become a habit until you do it 21 times. I can think of some not-so-good habits that I've created in my life. Now I'm focusing on creating good habits. I've been blogging about my weight loss for over a month now. I'd like to think this has become a habit.
I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't "count" what I eat and I just eat healthy all the time without even thinking about it. My run/walk experience this past Saturday was fun, exciting, exhausting, and surprising. I had fun doing it while I listened to my ipod. It was exciting because there were times when it felt great. It was exhausting because my body had no idea I was going to do an hour. Let's face it. I've got lots of jiggly bits to get rid of. My legs ached, but more awful was the pain on my feet and toes. I thought they were on fire. Literally on fire. I think I need new shoes. The first time I lost 45 pounds (7 years ago) my feet actually shrunk. I think my feet are starting to shrink again. That's great because they definitely got bigger after having the twins.
I really hope that I've lost weight this week. It would crush me if I didn't. Even a half-pound loss would be okay, but I'd rather settle for more. But then again I ate whatever I wanted for a lunch and dinner this week. Maybe I'll be punished for that.

Saturday's Food
2 corn tortillas, 2 slices of tomatoes, 1 oz. roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese
7 almonds
Mexican Style Chicken Tortilla Soup from Campbell's Soup Selects (veggies included)
Valentine's Dinner:  fried catfish with ponzu dipping sauce, lobster curry, white rice, mochi ice cream, 1 cupcake, yellowtail sashimi (Mmmmm..... my mouth still waters at how good everything was at our friend's AWESOME restaurant.)
It was definitely an experience of a lifetime. Growing up where I now live I remember looking up at this building where people ate and drank and had fun makes me feel all grown up.

Sunday
My hubby and I cleaned out our garage completely for 4 hours. Does that count as exercise? I know my brain got some exercise from walking through memory lane a few times. Oh, the things we keep for sentimentalities!
2 corn tortillas, 2 slices of tomatoes, 1 oz. roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese
14 almonds
2 corn tortillas, 2 slices of tomatoes, 1 oz. roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese
14 almonds
2 oz. whole wheat spaghetti, 1/2 spaghetti sauce, 4 oz. lean ground turkey

Valentine's Day was wonderful. We went to church and attended the marriage and family class for one hour. The couple who teaches it is great. They're amazing. They don't claim to be perfect; they encourage only effort on both of them. That's what I want. My husband and I were reminded that "A couple who prays together stays together."  We both needed that.
After church we went home, fed the twins, took them down for a nap, ate lunch together, and opened our Vday presents for each other.

For him:
16 GB MP3 player
box of yummy granola bars
2 hearth-shaped Reese's PB Cups (his fave)
card

For Me:
digital picture frame (always wanted one)
(2) 50 minute massage gift certificates
card
flowers

He has always been good at giving great gifts. I love him very much even though he sometimes drives me crazy.

I've been getting compliments about my weight loss. I feel a little vain when I tell you this, but those compliments feel GREAT!

Monday's Plan

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast turkey

14 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast turkey

14 almonds

orange flavored chicken stirfry with broccoli, carrots, snow peas and 1/2 cup white rice

1 WW cookie

1 Skinny Cow fudgsicle

50 minutes of Jillian's Boost Metabolism, 1 hour run/walk with jogging stroller

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Temptations

My dental appointment wasn't a complete nightmare.

They cleaned my teeth, took X-rays, measured me for whitening trays, and put in a new filling.

I was there for about 4 hours.

The best part? I didn't have to pay a cent.

For some reason the insurance company overpaid them for when my hubby was there before, so they told me I didn't have a balance.

Woohoo for me!

The worst part of the experience?

I was starving.

I woke up around 7 a.m. yesterday, ate breakfast, and got the twins ready to go

to my sister's house.

My appointment was at 10:15 a.m.

I was so hungry by the time they finished (2:00 p.m.) that I could've eaten my arm off.

Not eating for nearly 7 hours was not good. I went to the store to pick up some food to make for the twins, and I came across all the snacks that I absolutely love.

Reese's PB Cups, Doritos, ice cream!

Did I give in to these temptations?

No.

I walked away. I slowly walked away.

 I also told my other sister who was with me not to let me buy any of it.

I was pretty happy and reminded myself of how hard it already has been to lose just the first 13 pounds.

I got back to my sister's house, made snacks for the twins, and ate my planned lowfat chicken and dumplings (carrots, celery)  soup by Progresso, 14 almonds, and 5 saltines.

For dinner, I had a grilled steak salad (rommaine, cheese, black beans, guac).
It was quite filling, but I didn't feel bad. I had very little to eat all day.
I must have felt guilty when I woke up at 6 a.m. this morning though because I'm going out for a run/walk on the treadmill and lifting weights at our clubhouse. in a few minutes. Go figure.
I think if I get to bed no later than 10 p.m. every night I could probably work out at our clubhouse before my husband goes to work. That way I could just do a quick weights training when the twins take their nap in the afternoon. I don't plan on  doing it every day, but it would be fun to change it up a couple of times per week.

Possible Workout Schedule
Monday: run/walk in a.m., weights in p.m./30 Day Shred
Tuesday:  Jillian's Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism

Wednesday:  Jillian's No More Trouble Zones
Thursday:  Jillian's Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism
Friday:  run/walk in a.m., weights in p.m./30 Day Shred
Saturday:  Jillian's No More Trouble Zones

Today's Menu
2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 2 slices tomatos, 1/6 cup low fat cheese
7 almonds
2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 2 slices tomatos, 1/6 cup low fat cheese
7 almonds
4 oz. lemon cod, green beans
1/2 cup non-fat peach sherbert
Workout:  Run/walk for one hour, 30 Day Shred

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day.

Do you Mean it this Time?

Today I have a dental appointment for a check-up, cleaning, and to fix a filling that is coming out. I hate going to the dentist.
 I think the worst shots to give someone is probably in their gums.
They'll probably give me some to numb me up. Did I mention that I'm pretty used to shots? My twins were conceived through IVF. I know shots. I had them every day sometimes twice or three times a day for four months. The dentist's shots kill me every time.
The good thing about going to the dentist and having your teeth cleaned is that you don't really feel like eating and getting your teeth all dirty again afterwards.
At least, that's how I feel every time I go there.

Today's Menu

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

7 almonds

Campbell's Select Soups (chicken, veggies), 5 crackers

14 almonds

2 oz. spaghetti, 1 cup sauce, 4 oz. lean ground turkey

1 WW cookie

I'm taking the day off from my normal workout routine.

During the 6 hours that I sat in the car from a previous road trip,
I found something interesting from Dr. Oz's You on a Diet.
He says that aspertame (sweet stuff in diet sodas) turns into formaldehyde in your digestive system.
Yuck.
All I keep picturing is the sad little fetal pig that my friend R and I had to dissect when we were in Physiology our senior year. Oh... and the smell... yuck.
I'm officially grossed out and hoping that I will never crave a diet soda again.
I've gone over a month without the stuff, and I'm so glad.

A couple of days ago my mom asked me if I really mean it this time.
You've been asked this question before. I'm sure of it.
"Do you really mean to lose this weight and keep it off this time?"
I told her that I do.
I don't want these health problems anymore.
I don't want to be on medications for the rest of my life.
I have a lot to look forward to with my husband and my children.
It's so much work and so hard too to lose all this weight.

This girl IS losing it, and she's keeping it off for good.

Have a happy and healthy day!

Dancing Machine

Before I forget... I want to thank my readers for all of your well wishes, support, and kind words when you leave comments on my blog posts. It means the world to me. Thank you very much.

Yesterday I was a dancing machine!

My sisters and I danced to the game, "Just Dance" on Wii. It was so much fun. It was my first time ever to play on the Wii system. I know. I'm a little behind. It's funny because I used to be somewhat of a gamer in my high school and college years. Oh, how marriage changes you! Some of the dances were probably a little too fast for me, but I think I was able to burn a few calories. It wasn't Jillian, but I had fun doing it anyway. The twins loved dancing with us too. It's amazing how coordinated they have become.

Yesterday's Actual Food

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

Vietnamese vermicelli salad, 4 eggrolls, 4 prawns, 3 oz. bbq pork, cucumbers, bean sprouts, other greens

water, water, water

ooh... a few pieces of spicy pork rinds (sorry if this grosses you out)

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese

water, water, water

1/2 cup Diet Cranberry and Pomegranate juice (Ocean Spray)

Hmmm... I ate the vermicelli salad last week and yesterday. It was delicious. I don't regret eating it again yesterday. I ate that around 12 p.m. I danced for an hour around 3 p.m. I went home and did Jillian's "30 Day Shred." It must have been some of the guilt I felt form eating something I truly enjoy.  I think I'll be okay. I didn't want to have an all day feast on Saturday, since it's so close to my weekly weigh-in. So I decided to indulge a little yesterday. I'll be eating very clean and healthy for breakfast, snacks, and lunch on Saturday before we eat out for our "V-day" dinner. You know I'll probably get in a two-hour workout in there somewhere... now just to find the time with the twins around... hmm... I'll figure it out.

I'm excited and quite nervous now that I've dropped to 150 lbs. That means next week I'll probably get less points every day. Instead of 22 points, I'll get only 20 points. This sounds silly and not like a big deal to you probably, but it's a pretty big deal to me. I have been eating on average about 20 points when I am super good (6 days a week), so maybe dropping it to 18 gradually will be okay. I've read that it's okay to go two points below the point range. You'd still lose weight in a healthy way.
Did I mention that I haven't been in the 140's since college? That's over ten years ago. I'm really looking forward to wearing some of the clothes that I've put away.

Today's Menu

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

7 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup lowfat cheese, 1 oz. roast beef

14 almonds

2 slices oat and grain bread, 2 slices lowfat cheddar cheese

1 WW chocolate chip cookie

I'm still trying to figure out when I could fit in the times to blog post, work out, make lunch, make dinner, and do the other "housewifely" duties besides trying to do it all when the babies nap for 1-2 hours. I'm trying to post this now as the twins color with their crayons in the office. It seems to work fine. It's getting them out of the family room and kitchen (which are the places they're usually stuck in all day with me with the exception of their naps). Maybe this will work.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day.

Relief

What a relief! Some weeks go better than others, and last week was a great example. Today I stepped on the scale and saw that I lost 1.5 pounds. What a relief! I thought for sure that I was going to stay the same or maybe even gain, since I didn't think I had a very successful weekend. Being away from your own kitchen (where you can carefully plan out your meals) is scary for me. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to eating out unless I've looked up the nutrional info for the restaurant. I know this is something I will need to overcome before I start my "maintenance" phase, but for now it is a big problem for me. Luckily, we only have one car, and I don't get out of the house very much to have to plan many of my meals out. I know plenty of people who seem to eat whatever they want, not work out, and they still are able to stay slim or thin. Why didn't I get those genes?

I am grateful that I've been working out almost every day.

I am grateful that I've been eating healthy and still able to enjoy some food pleasures during the week.

I am grateful for the support of family, friends, and you, my readers.

Today's Menu

2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheddar cheese

7 almonds

teriyaki chicken and rice and steamed veggies

7 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1 oz. lean roast beef, 1/6 cup lowfat cheddar cheese

A day off my workout routine, since my hubby and I have an appointment with our bankrupcy lawyer during the twins' nap time. Today, we'll find out if we really qualify for it. We both think we should, but we've been praying for help.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Back to Reality

This past weekend I was under stress overload.

I hate road trips.

I absolutely hate trips where I have to see my husband's ex-wife.
My husband and I usually fight about something on these trips, and we did.

Friday's Food and Activity

4 corn tortillas

2 cheese squares

2 oz. lean roast beef

14 almonds

1 steak and portobellos meal from Applebee's

1 WW piece of cake

1.5 cups of whole wheat cheese puffs

water

Jillian Michaels's "30 Day Shred"

Saturday's Food

1 cup breakfast granola

20 almonds
Campbell's Selects Clam Chowder

grilled chicken salad

2 cups frozen yogurt with shredded coconut and 1/4 cup fresh mangos

Diet Blueberry and Pomegranate juice

Sunday's Food

1 cup breakfast granola

14 almonds

6 oz. grilled salmon

1.5 cups steamed broccoli

4 corn tortillas

1 cheese square

2 oz. lean roast beef

water

Diet Blueberry and Pomegranate juice

I am very nervous about weighing myself on Tuesday. I planned my meals and packed them before I left, but the fact of the matter is that I wasn't home. I was out of town, and my husband (good job, buddy) of all people encouraged me to eat food I didn't plan. I'm very disappointed in myself. To top it off, I didn't work out on Saturday like I planned. I brought my workout clothes and my DVD's, but they never made it out of my suitcase. I was too tired. I didn't sleep very well the past two nights either. Actually, I never sleep well when I'm not at home. Add that to the fact that I had two 19 month olds who slept with me in a double-size bed from about 2 a.m. until 7 a.m. I know that everyone has stumbling blocks when it comes to taking the weight off. I knew that I would. Something inside me just thought I would do better this past weekend. I was thrilled with last week's loss (3 pounds). I don't think I'll be as successful this Tuesday. I just hope that I lost instead of gained. This pity party stinks. I know I need to focus on the positives:

+ I worked out five days last week.

+ We all got home safely from our trip.

+ No extra drama happened (especially from the evil ex-wife).

+ The twins had fun with their grandparents, aunts, and cousins.

+ I got to see a family member play on stage with his band.

+ The twins finally met their great-grandmother, and I think it cheered her up.

Okay, okay. The positives do win out in the end. I need to get over this negativity and move on. Really the only thing that I ate that probably wasn't within plan was the frozen yogurt. The only reason why it was "bad" was because there was a lot of it. It was nonfat, and had active ingredients, so it was good for my digestive system. LOL.

Today I have some major working out to do. I'm going to do JM's "Boost your Metabolism."

Monday's Menu

2 corn tortillas, 1/2 cup egg sub., 1/6 cup cheese

7 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1/2 cup egg sub., 1/6 cup cheese
7 almonds

4 oz. grilled chicken

1/2 cup rice

green beans

water

Did I mention that we've been cleaning out our garage due to us having to move in a few months? Us former teachers (elementary school) are pack rats. I have about 15 (18) gallon rubbermaid containers full of books that I need to go through, sell, donate, or keep for when the twins go to school. It's crazy, I know. That's what you do though when you teach in a public school system. You buy your materials with your own money. We're about 75% done, and I think we'll be at 100% this weekend. I also went through my closet for donations to a women's shelter. They're coming for my clothes on Tuesday. I am happy to say that I am too small for size 14 jeans. Yay! I can't wait to fit into my smaller clothes. Yes, I kept some of them.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

On the Road

Did I tell you that I absolutely hate road trips? I used to enjoy them before we had the twins. The only reason why I hate road trips so much now is that the twins have such a hard time sitting in their carseats for hours. I feel so bad for them. This time, I'm coming prepared. I borrowed a portable DVD player from my mom and purchased a "Yo Gabba-Gabba" DVD. They LOVE that show. I think I'll pop it in once they start getting fussy. I'm also bringing some other DVD's for them. I had an epiphany and thought, "Why not bring one of my 'Turbo Jam Cardio' DVD's?." Why not!?!? So I will. I have already packed my workout clothes. I'm planning on getting a good workout in when the twins go for a nap. The bedroom we're staying in is in the basement of my in-laws' house, and I can work out in the main room while the twins sleep only a few feet away. No one ever goes downstairs. It'll be great. It'll also be a nice break from my mother-in-law. Did I say that outloud? LOL. I hope and pray that I can stay on plan with my eating and workout this weekend.
I'll let you know how it went on Monday.

Have a happy and healthy weekend!

Packing and More Packing

Last night, I thought I was doing so great with my meals. I wasn't even really hungry for dinner, so I only finished half of it. I was craving popcorn, and so I went into the pantry and popped what I thought was MY light popcorn. My husband also wanted popcorn, but he doesn't like the "light" version. He asked me where HIS was, and I told him it was on the top shelf. Nope. I was wrong. His was on the second shelf, and mine was on the top shelf. All this time (4 weeks) I've been eating the "EXTRA BUTTER" version. Oh crap. Oh well. I've been losing weight, so I guess last night (and also the last ever) mistake is okay. It won't happen again. I was wondering why it was so salty! I felt like such a dork. My husband got a kick out of it. So this morning, my stomach still felt a little full from the popcorn. Or maybe it's just my brain feeling the guilt. I guess that's what happens when you don't completely clean out your pantry of the "bad" stuff. It just made watching "LOST" that more fun, I guess. Yes, we're "LOST" fans, but we're so excited it's going to be over soon. It's kind of hard really to clean out your pantry when you have a husband who isn't eating like you. Other than that, he's actually pretty supportive. He enjoys the "Tuesday Feasts" we've been having. So far, we've had Thai, sushi, and a buffet. I'm skipping the feast on Feb. 9th because I'm saving it for Feb. 13th. That's our V-day dinner. I still don't know where we're going. I like surprises, and if you're like me who doesn't splurge a lot on stuff (shopping, girly stuff), then you'd ask your husband/boyfriend to keep it a surprise until you get to the restaurant.

It just occured to me that I'm not as cranky as I've been (the past years) when I've changed my eating. I used to get really hungry, cranky, and anxious. I think I'm better now because I've made my meal planning easy. Yes, I eat basically the same things for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. I think doing that has made me less anxious and nervous about a couple of things:

*When am I going to eat?

*What can I eat?

I think "planning" has been one of my success factors.

I've been packing for about 3 days now. We're going out of town, and it takes a lot of planning to pack for my twins. I pack everything from pack n' plays, blankets, clothes, medicines, food, sippy cups, and even high chairs. I was smart when I registered for baby stuff and got portable high chairs that attach right onto regular kitchen chairs.

I told you that I was nervous about my meals when I found out we were going out of town. I think I've fixed that problem. I'm packing some granola mix for breakfast and lowfat soups for lunch. Here's my plan:

Friday

Breakfast:  2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 1 oz. roast beef

Snack:  14 almonds

Lunch:  2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 1 oz. roast beef

Snack: 14 almonds

Dinner:  Applebee's WW menu:  Paradise Chicken Salad

Dessert:  1 WW cake

Saturday

Breakfast: granola mix

Snack: 7 almonds

Lunch: lowfat soup, 5 crackers

Snack: 7 almonds

Dinner: mother-in-law's dinner (small portion)

Sunday

Breakfast: granola mix

Snack: 14 almonds

Lunch: Applebee's Cajun Lime Tilapia

Snack: 14 almonds

Dinner: grilled chicken and rice

Today's Menu
Breakfast: 2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 1 oz. roast beef

Snack: 7 almonds

Lunch: 2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 1 oz. roast beef

Snack: 7 almonds

Dinner: 1 serving of pork and hominy stew

Dessert:  1 WW cake
Workout:  Jillian Michaels's Boost Your Metabolism

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Finding the Will to Work Out

I woke up with Twin Girl at 5 a.m. today. I fell asleep again 30 minutes later only to wake up to hear that Twin Boy woke up too. We all got in the big beed that's in their nursery, and I tried to go back to sleep. I'm not sure if that really happened. I remember having a strange dream about creatures that looked like the aliens from "District 9." Strange. Hmmm. Maybe I did sleep again. Anyway, yesterday I was really really bad. The funny thing was that when I started eating bad in the morning, it was as if my stomach wasn't big enough anymore to stuff my face like I used to. My stomach actually hurt, and I didn't even eat that much. I had 4 very thin corn tortillas with cheese inside, a handful of peanuts, and water. About 2 hours later, I did Jillian Michaels's "Boost Your Metabolism" workout for 50 minutes. That always kicks my butt, but I think she's right when she claims it can make you lose up to 5 pounds a week. I lost three during the first week I worked out with it! For lunch, I didn't get the chicken teriyaki that I said I would. Instead, I went to a Vietnamese restaurant and picked up a vermicelli salad (vermicelli, 3 small eggrolls, 1 oz. grilled pork, 4 grilled shrimp). It was delicious, and I was stuffed. Working out gave me an appetite, I guess. For dinner, my husband and I went for some sushi. Yeah, I was bad. But guess what! I'm over it. I'm eating good and clean until Valentine's Day. Usually, I eat what I want on Tuesdays, but I'll have to wait until February 14, so I can eat what I want on our special date night. Eleven days. Can I make it? I actually think it won't be a problem because as much as I looked forward to yesterday's feasting I was somewhat disappointed. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I didn't eat a piece of chocolate cake. LOL. Today my friend S. is coming over to work out with me. She's bringing one of the "Biggest Loser" workout DVD's. I'm not sure which one, but I'm sure it'll be a great workout. I'm too sleep-deprived and tired to work out, but I'll find the will to do it.

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day.

Today's Weigh-In

I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling nervous before I weigh in. I guess if you're like me who has had a love/hate relationship with the scale ever since senior year at high school, you're probably not ever going to stop feeling nervous about the weigh-in. I lost 3 pounds! I'm very happy with this weight loss, and I'm happy with the journey so far. I've had some stressful times already in this journey, but I'm proud and surprised also to say that I haven't given in. My past history has been bad with food. When I started teaching, I also was constantly stressed out. Once in a while I would lock myself in my room and drink a whole bottle of wine, skip dinner, and go to bed. I'm happy to say that I haven't had a drink in 6 years. I wasn't an alcoholic. I just didn't feel like I had anyone to turn to. I'm at a better place now. Working out has really helped me relieve stress and forget about the world for an hour. It's kind of nice even though I hate the trainer that I'm following at that moment. I can't wait to lose my first 10% of my weight. I wonder what purse I will buy! Maybe I need to look online. My sis got a super cute BCBG purse for Christmas from her man, and I really liked the style. I don't want the exact same one, but maybe they have other ones that are super cute.

Tuesday's Menu

1 Nature's Harvest Breakfast Mix

7 almonds

Teriyaki chicken and rice

7 almonds

sushi and tempura veggies

Dr. Oz's Weight Loss Rule #3: Snack Smart
"You want to diet smart, not hard. Part of that is having single-serving nutritious snacks on hand at all times to prevent a diet slip. Try substituting your favorite snack foods with healthier alternatives like wasabi peas, soy nuts, frozen grapes, blueberries and dried pineapple (not the kind coated in sugar!)."

I hope you're having a happy and healthy day!

Breathing

I felt so complete this past Saturday. I was so inspired by many people. I attend a women's conference sponsored by my church on Saturday. It was so inspiring and comforting to hear "You're not alone" when it comes to struggles. Our family is having some financial struggles, if you didn't know. It's very sad and hard to believe we're losing our home. We're also going to lose our car. We're going to downgrade to an older, used car. It will be for the best. Sometimes you have to take steps back before you can move forward. I am grateful for the inspiration given to me from the people at the conference. I am also grateful for the lessons I learned from the Yoga class and Krav Maga. Yoga reminded me how to breathe. My friend H. taught an hour lesson at the conference, and I got a great workout from it. I learned how to get out of another choke hold! Hopefully, I will never have to use it.

Saturday's Food

2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 2 oz. lean roast beef

7 almonds

small Buca di Beppo salad, 1/2 cheese ravioli, 1/2 chicken canneloni (I didn't know how many calories or fat I was eating, so I just ate half.)

Weight Watchers recipe for linguine pasta with lowfat sauce

Workout:  1 hour Krav Maga, 30 minutes yoga

I probably didn't eat enough for Saturday, but I ate enough for Sunday.

Sunday's Food

2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 2 oz. lean roast beef

14 almonds

2 corn tortillas, 1/6 cup cheese, 1 oz. lean chicken deli slice

7 almonds

1 cup tortellini and lowfat sauce

Workout:  day off :)

It's funny when one day you're as happy as can be and then the next day you're just plain annoyed and irritated. My husband irritated me today. I asked him how I was going to be able to walk into the house from our garage when he had two old DVD players on the floor and in my way (mind you, I was carrying Twin Boy @ 25 pounds and a large baby bag). He said, "Stop your complaing already. I've heard enough today." I was so hurt and upset at his words that I said nothing. What I thought about saying or what I should've said instead was, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love." I read that recently in a mag article. I think that would've set him off. For a while (longer than a few months) now, he has been talking to me in a certain tone or attitude. I notice that he has been trying to help me with the twins sometimes. I just get so upset with him because he doesn't do it enough. I'm ALWAYS the one who wakes up in all hours of the night with the babies. It's also expected of me (mostly from myself) to work out every day, clean the house, do the laundry, etc.Yes, he has a stressful job. Yes, he works 9-10 hours a day. I work 17 hours a day. My day doesn't end just because the twins went to bed at 8:00 p.m. That's when I do the laundry, dishes, and clean the house. That's when I do everything now, since I work out for 1 hour of the 1.5 hours-2 hours the twins nap during the day. The other half hour or hour when they're napping is when I make dinner. I don't sit around on the couch all day contrary to his beliefs. I'm sorry. I guess I needed to vent. I guess that's part of this blog. This is my weight loss journey. This journey has is successes and failures. My stressors are part of those successes and failures. I love my husband, but sometimes he drives me nuts.

This weekend we're going over to his parents' house- out of town, 6 hours of driving and probably 3 of those hours the twins will be screaming to get out of their carseats. I'm not looking foward to it. All his mother wants to talk about is his children (not ours together). I'm done with all that. I really don't care to hear the drama that my stepkids' mother is putting my mother-in-law through just because she can't see them whenever she wants. I have nothing to do with that. Leave me out of it. I've decided to take Dr. Laura Schlessinger's advice that she gives to many stepmothers:  Your husband is gonna do what he wants to do concerning HIS children. If you decide to control that, your marriage may be over. I decided that a long time ago, and the only time I give him my opinion is when it directly concerns or affects my twins. You may not agree with that, but you probably would sympathize with me if you knew what kinds of things my husband and I have edured in dealing with his ex-wife. I'm just glad that I didn't stuff my face with a whole cake after being upset.

Today, I'm planning on doing Jillian Michaels's "Trouble Zones" workout and 30 minutes of dancing.

Monday's Food

2 corn tortillas, 1 cheese square, 1 oz. lean roast beef
7almonds

1/2 cup tortellini and lowfat sauce from yesterday's dinner

7 almonds

small portion of oriental beef stirfry and 1/3 cup white rice

1 WW piece of cake

Dr. Oz's Weight Loss Rule #2: Make Sister Food Substitutes

Learn to swap out your unhealthy staples with healthier sister foods. If you’re a pasta-lovin’ family, try creating your favorite dish with spaghetti squash instead.

I apologize for being so "down" in the end of this post. This is my HONEST blog about my journey. I hope you can respect that. Thank you for being a reader.

I hope you're having and happy and healthy day!